Unlimited.

It is not often that I get to talk about a life-changing event. Today, my friends, I will write about two of them.

The first occurred in December 2006 during my final year of college. That winter bore a cold that froze everything; a cold that made morning wakeup routines take twice as long and made you ache for warmth the entire day even when you were inside a heated room. The Fall semester would normally consist of me waking up before 7:00 AM and driving in to downtown Richmond to attend my first 8:00 AM course at VCU. Once my day was done, I would end my day with a trip home between 9 and 10 PM. I was not working during the semester; my sole focus was on taking care of every last piece of schoolwork so that I could complete my degree. Those were some tiring days where I had no money and did little other than pound my way through tests and textbooks.

It was in the last week of classes that my car's engine died.

I previously owned a Ford Tempo. I bought it for $1500 at an auto auction and it worked for five years. It accelerated on its own and needed some body work done to it, but it was my car. To replace the engine would have cost more than the car was worth and I had nothing to afford the replacement with anyway.

For the next three years, when I was not taking the bus to work, I was walking. Everywhere.

The loss of that vehicle entirely shaped my time to come. I will not say these have been the worst three years of my life. Quite the contrary; being on my own and working for myself has led me to a freedom I did not previously have. But it was always a limited freedom. A freedom constantly defined by where I could get to. A freedom that all too often led me to spending time alone in my apartment, bored or gaming.

I want to take a moment here to thank the friends who still spent time with me during this period. Curt, Vince, Travis, and Chris: you guys were always willing to pick me up and bring me to the fun that was going on. My mom and dad helped me out a lot too, although they aren't on Facebook so my thanks don't mean as much here as they do in person. Nonetheless, there were times the people I know went an extra mile so I could be included in things. I really appreciate that.

Unfortunately, the sad truth remained: without my own transportation I faced constant obstacles between myself and what I wanted to do.

Last December, my dad approached me with an offer: contribute money towards the purchase of a truck he could use for transportation and I could make full-time use of his car. I was previously looking at buying my own vehicle at a far greater cost. This offer attracted me because it would allow me to save money and fill some of the needs I'd not met while I was putting every cent I had towards the potential car purchase.

Last Tuesday that agreement bore fruit. I have a car again.

All the old limits are gone.

I should know, as I've spent the past few days breaking them. The first full day with the car, I picked up dinner on the way home just because I could. On Friday, I went and hung out with Chris. It was my first Friday night out in ages.

Is there a silver lining to the experience? Oh, I think so. Not having a vehicle means I know just what it means to have one. What it means to be able to go and do what I choose, when and where I choose it. Now that I have a car, I know exactly what I'll be doing with it. I've made mental notes of everything I wanted to do but couldn't for lack of transportation.

I often identify myself with my zodiac sign: Taurus. Well, there's no cage holding back this bull any longer.

Before I close this post, I'd like to share a shot of the car. It's the best view in the world right now. I hope you enjoy it, but I know you won't enjoy it as much as I do. Because...


... you have to be in the driver's seat to fully appreciate it and that's where I'll be sitting.

Until next time.

What I Gave Up for Lent.

Here's a little something to know about me: I am a gamer. If it is a game, chances are I will play it and enjoy it, at least once. Whether I continue to play depends on how good the game is.

I began gaming as a lad. My dad likes to remind me how I used to feed quarters into arcade machines, especially the original Super Mario Bros at Richmond drug store. The store no longer exists, and arcade machines are a thing of the past, but well do I remember funneling money into the change slots to continue my games.

Gaming for me began with the original Atari. I owned a couple of games, one of which was Popeye. The other two were original titles that never got any notoriety, but they were still fun. This, of course, was in the 80s back when the name Atari had more "oomph" behind it. Of course, it faded and the original NES rose to prominence. I owned that console, as well as the Sega Genesis that was its competition. I gamed on the Sega CD, the original PS, the X Box, the N64, and then I got a PC for the first time.

I love games. They are an enjoyable challenge of both my reflexes and my puzzle-solving ability and tell some fantastic stories to boot. I have gamed since my earliest childhood straight through into my 30s.

And as of Ash Wednesday, I stopped gaming for the duration of Lent.

There are many reasons to this act and I won't go into all of them. But giving up gaming is not a small sacrifice for me personally as I hope the history above shows you. And having given them up even temporarily, I find the urge to game is a constant temptation - sink more time into whatever my game of the moment is, or do something else? I even find myself missing it - I left Bioshock 2 unfinished and want to see the end of the story. But ever since I've been carless, I've had little other than gaming to do. Giving up gaming seems not only appropriate as a sacrifice, it's breaking a habit that has sucked up my time more than I would like.

In giving up my favorite activity, I believe I'll be able to find some new ones. I've already had my special project occupy last week's newly freed time. This week, I'm thinking even more will come my way.

Gaming, I'll see you in 33 days. :)

The Day of Hearts

Good morning/afternoon/evening, oh readers of mine.



This is my mug. I got it last year at DragonCon for being one of the first X-hundred people to donate blood. In that picture there, the mug doesn't look like much. It is a mug with a tv show ad printed on it.

But the mug has a secret, as I found when washing it in hot water. When revealed, the mug makes a statement plain for all to see.


For those with difficulty making the picture out, the relevant bit is "Love sucks" printed on the side of a mug advertising a TV show about vampires.

"But Brian," you're probably saying. "This blog is supposed to be about seeing the good side in things! Your mug (while humorous) isn't in keeping with the theme of your other blog posts!"

You're right, of course, but the nature of this blog has always been to take a seeming negative and show the positive sides to it. That being the case, I beg your indulgence as I talk my way around to this post's point.

The dictionary.com definition of love is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. (There are others, but let's go with the first one) The first association that leaps to mind for me (and most others I'm sure) is the notion of romantic love felt for one's spouse/partner/significant other. Certainly, that's the association that ties into the theme of Valentine's Day as we know it. It just doesn't have to be the only association.

I'm not necessarily talking about platonic love here, although that's probably the best alternative definition I can give you for what I mean. When young and in grade school, Valentine's Day was often spent making cards for other people in the class; people we barely know but are socialized into playing the Valentine's role with. I don't even remember the class from my first elementary school, nor could I tell you who I gave a homemade Valentine's card to. It didn't really mean anything to me at the time. Now that I'm older, the feeling has come full circle. I believe in being as genuinely caring as possible to everyone whether you are romantically involved or not.

I am not currently in a committed relationship with anyone. Maybe if I was I would feel differently about this; maybe I too would buy in to the notion of romance that Valentine's is supposed to be about. Maybe I would see a distinction between the way love with a partner works versus caring about the world at large. From this chair on this date, however, I don't. I believe if you are going to care about someone you should do it to the fullest extent possible and romance be damned.

This does not mean I am going to rush out and buy or make Valentine's Day cards for all my friends. Even if Valentine's wasn't an extremely commercially-driven holiday that I try not to support, Valentine's cards to all my friends would be awkward (yes, I'm thinking of the guys here).

What it does mean is that I will do my best to show the people in my life that I care about them whenever I can, be it on Valentine's Day or not. Genuinely caring about other people transcends a single holiday dedicated to the name of love.

And so in obstacles to opportunities fashion, I don't plan on letting Valentine's get me down. Instead I'm taking it as a reminder that my family and friends are very important to my life and that I should definitely not wait until a holiday or special occasion to show it.

So suck on that Valentine's! :)

As a bit of a teaser, the title of next week's Sunday blog post is: What I gave up for Lent. If you want to know, tune in next week.

PS: for those paying attention to the Chinese New Year. it's the year of the tiger. This guy is smiling about it and so should you!

Making the Best of Missing the Bus

Wasn't really expecting to do midweek posts for my blog; figured I'd do mostly Sunday updates. But, when the situation calls for it one writes!

So the time is 5:35 PM and I'm just leaving the office. I am at the bus stop by 5:40. The last bus that will get me home is supposed to leave the end of its route at 5:42. I figure I'm good.

Not so, dear readers. I'm not sure exactly how, but I missed the bus. The time I find this out? 6:20. As the next bus that will not take me all the way home arrives.

Just. Grand.

Well, says I, the first step is to get as far home as the bus route will take me. Fortunately, there is a grocery store at the end of the route and I can get dinner there. My mom was also supposed to bring me her tax information over the weekend so I can file her taxes for her, but she didn't because of the snowmageddon. Since I am stuck tonight I give her a call thinking I can turn an obstacle into a lever. I get her voicemail, and leave a message.

While in the store, I run into an old coworker. He and I chat for a bit, which is good times. Feeling pretty positive, I grab a bit of dinner and park myself at a table in the store's cafe to eat.

I happen to park myself next to a group of people having a weekly meeting of some kind. I listen in on their conversation trying to piece together what's happening. Eventually I figure out it's some kind of motivational support group, but while listening I overhear the following:

"Buddhists, when they die but before they get into Heaven, get asked two questions. First, have you experienced true joy? Second, have you given true joy to another? If the answer to both is yes, then they are allowed to enter."

I don't know if this is true or not, but it's a bit of food for thought. I'm pretty certain I can say yes to the first. I don't know if the second is true - I'm not married/in a relationship so I don't exactly have a wife/girlfriend to vouch for me - but it was an an introspective addition to my dinner.

Of course, while I was listening in, one of the group noticed me and drew me into the conversation by asking me what I thought. I wasn't embarrassed, just mostly curious, so I answered that I was trying to figure out what they were doing. As it turns out I was right. A few of the group introduced themselves to me after they wrapped up and one even offered me a lift home, although my mom called shortly after to let me know she could give me a lift. For practical reasons, I reverted to Plan A. Regardless, the evening turned out far more interesting than I'd originally planned.

Feeling pretty good, I decided on a treat to cap the evening. Before leaving the store, I bought some hot chocolate from the barista who turned out to be very friendly and a little fun to talk to. Then, as I stood on the street waiting for my mom, I used my drink-heated breath to create clouds of breath steam in the cold air. (I did both a train engine and a dragon breathing fire) Silly, I know, but it was fun and it passed the time until she arrived.

So in spite of the crummy beginning, I'd say I managed to make tonight a win. Here's to that hot chocolate!


Also, since I mentioned it in my last blog post but didn't have an actual picture of it, I thought I'd show off the lucky hug Heather gave me in its place by my computer monitor.


Until next time, thanks for reading!

Brotherly Challenge

Hi Jeff. How are you? Well I hope?

I accept.

Oh, I seem to have skipped ahead. Allow me to fill in the gaps.

It begins with a lamp.

Actually, no wait. It begins with a brother.

First, I have only one brother. His name is Jeff, and while he is occasionally a brat, jerk, or messy houseguest (very frequently that last), he is generally an awesome guy and I love him very much. Jeff currently goes to college in NoVA at George Mason University, or GMU as the acronym-lovers say. He's working on his undergrad degree there and while he seems pretty content to live up that way, he does make his way back to the old hometown every so often.

It was on a trip here just after the ill-fated Saturday snowstorm of my last blog that he proposed the challenge to me.

After spending a boring Sunday here, he began with "Brian."

"Yes?"

"I want you to turn this apartment into a place," he continued very seriously and paused.

I nodded, indicating he continue.

"That you'd bring a woman."

Another pause. I bet the next part has something to do with sex.

"Who you would have sex with."

Kinda saw where that was going.

"That is my challenge to you."

... what is this? A challenge? To me?!?! Baha. Ahahahaha.

After the bemused internal laughter subsided, I simply explained that yes, improving my living surroundings was indeed part of the plan all along. I had worked myself to insanity doing overtime last year in an attempt to pick up extra funds for a car. With that money now in the bank, I was rationing it until after the purchase. Then, I would begin buying furnishings for my apartment in earnest.

Flashforward to today. I wake bright and early, a smile on my face, the congestion that plagued me for the past week and a half finally beaten back, and my apartment a mess.

It's easy to understand how it got to that point. I was plastered-to-the-bed-ill for three days, snowed in for three days, and spent the remaining half of last week getting my job's workload under some control. I did just enough nightly chores to get through the week, knowing that I usually pick up the slack Sunday.

After the morning repast, I set about straightening and cleaning - not a fun task by any means but I was at least taking care of business. As I did so, a curious dissatisfaction crept into my mood. For some reason, just getting things back to normal wasn't enough.

My favorite author Timothy Zahn once wrote: "Examine all obstacles carefully. With a little ingenuity they can often be turned into levers." When this bit of perspective popped into my head, I realized I had not the beginnings of a problem, but an opportunity. As I cleaned today, I focused not on simply putting things back where they had been in a neater fashion. Instead, I shifted them around into new and better places. My eye went towards a reorganization of the parts, rather than a bit of polish to a gear here and there. I focused on my room, the heart of it all, and did a hefty reorganization of my random clutter. I'm not finished, but things are looking very different just from the things I've shifted.

I even added to the decor just a bit.



What you see in the picture above is my new Captain's Lamp (with which it does indeed begin). It replaces the old and cheap Banker's Lamp for my desk that fell apart on me. My intent is to make it the first of many changes; I have, after all, accepted my brother's challenge.

So for those of you who find yourselves in old surroundings you've tired of, or perhaps new ones, I challenge you to make an opportunity out of it. Don't just maintain the rut. Take the time and make some beneficial changes.

Also, here's a quick shout-out to my friends Danika and Heather who provided me some ornaments I used in the reorganization of my desk. Dani, the "flying monkeys" plaque has a place of prominence right behind the keyboard (as you can see in the pic above). Heather, although you can't see it the lucky hug I got from you sits at the base of my computer monitor so it's right there when I find myself in need. Smooches to both of you for helping make my room a bit more Brian-friendly!

Next week: the Valentine's Day edition.